No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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