Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
