I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
