I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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