Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
