after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
