I didn't shave. On purpose
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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