You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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