New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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