So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
