ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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