Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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