Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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