as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
