Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
