Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
