Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
