Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
