Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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