i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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