Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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