omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
