the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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