My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
