I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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