Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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