Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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