It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
