I am puke
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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