Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
