Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Is Oprah even human
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
