Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
