I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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