So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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