at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
