Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
