I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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