I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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