"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
