if you like me you must not know who I am
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
