btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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