I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
