The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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