Porn is love you can see.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
