i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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