Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have tasted many bathrooms
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
