I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
