It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
