The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
