Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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