Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
