what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
