I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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