I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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