I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
