I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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