The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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