I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
