With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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