mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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