peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she looked like the before picture.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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