R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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