I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
